Dementia Holiday Prep Checklist: Making the Season Meaningful and Manageable
The holidays can be overwhelming for families navigating dementia. With thoughtful planning and realistic expectations, you can create moments of joy while preserving your loved one's dignity and comfort.
The holiday season brings a unique set of challenges when dementia is part of your family's story. The sensory overload, disrupted routines, and well-meaning but overwhelming gatherings can trigger confusion, anxiety, and behavioral changes in someone living with dementia. Yet with the right preparation, the holidays can still offer precious moments of connection.
As Teepa Snow, one of the world's leading dementia care experts, reminds us: "It's not about creating the perfect holiday—it's about creating moments of engagement that honor who the person still is." This checklist will help you navigate the season with compassion, practical strategies, and local support.
Before the Holidays: Foundation Work (2-4 Weeks Ahead)
Adjust Your Expectations
Let go of "how it used to be." The traditional 20-person dinner may no longer serve your loved one's needs. Atul Gawande's work in Being Mortal teaches us that quality of life often means choosing comfort and autonomy over tradition.
Define success differently. A successful holiday might be 15 minutes of your mom enjoying her favorite carol, not an entire day of festivities.
Get family buy-in early. Send an email or have a family meeting explaining changes. Share resources like The 36-Hour Day by Nancy Mace and Peter Rabins to help relatives understand dementia's impact.
Assess Your Loved One's Current Abilities
What time of day are they most engaged? Plan key activities during their "best" hours—often mid-morning.
What sensory experiences do they still enjoy? The smell of pine, the feel of velvet fabric, or hearing specific songs may connect more deeply than complex activities.
What triggers distress? Note specific stressors: loud music, crowds, particular foods, or even certain colors of lighting.
Create a Simplified Holiday Plan
Choose 2-3 meaningful traditions to preserve (e.g., decorating one small tree together, baking one type of cookie, attending one short religious service).
Schedule shorter gatherings. Aim for 1-2 hours instead of all-day events.
Plan a "quiet zone" in your home where your loved one can retreat if overwhelmed.
Identify a "point person" who will stay with your loved one throughout events—ideally someone calm and familiar.
Connect with Local Support
Greenville, SC Resources:
Connections to Care offers Aging Life Care Management services that can help you create a personalized holiday plan. Our care managers can assess your loved one's needs and coordinate support services.
Alzheimer's Association South Carolina Chapter (Greenville office): Provides family education, support groups, and a 24/7 helpline (800-272-3900).
Prisma Health Memory Care: Offers respite care options if you need a break during the busy season.
Meals on Home (Greenville County): Can deliver meals during the holidays, reducing your cooking burden.
The Week Before: Tactical Preparation
Modify Your Environment
Simplify decorations. Avoid flashing lights, fragile ornaments, or anything that could be mistaken for food.
Use familiar, non-breakable items. Felt ornaments, silk flowers, and LED candles are safer alternatives.
Maintain routine spaces. Don't redecorate your loved one's bedroom or primary living area—consistency provides comfort.
Label the bathroom clearly if hosting guests. Dementia can make navigation harder in crowded, noisy environments.
Prepare Guests (Especially Children)
Educate in age-appropriate ways. For kids: "Grandma's brain works differently now. She might not remember your name, but she can still feel your love."
Give concrete roles. Ask children to show family photos, play simple music, or sit quietly nearby—activities that don't require reciprocal conversation.
Share Teepa Snow's "hand-under-hand" technique (available free on YouTube) with family members who will interact with your loved one. This gentle approach to offering help preserves dignity.
Plan the Menu Strategically
Prepare foods in advance and freeze them. The week of the holiday should not be spent cooking.
Choose "finger foods" that don't require utensils if motor skills are declining.
Avoid new foods. Stick with familiar favorites—dementia often brings suspicion of unfamiliar items.
Have backup snacks your loved one likes. If the meal is overwhelming, they can eat something simple and familiar instead.
Arrange Respite Care
Even if you're hosting, you need breaks.
Local Greenville Options:
BrightStar Care of Greenville: Provides companion care and personal care services, including respite.
Visiting Angels of Greenville: Offers short-term care so you can shop, rest, or attend other events.
Thrive Upstate: Adult day services that can provide a few hours of engagement and supervision.
During the Holidays: Day-Of Strategies
Morning Routine
Keep the morning as normal as possible. Breakfast, medications, and personal care should follow the usual schedule.
Prepare your loved one gradually. "Today some family is coming for a short visit" is less overwhelming than "It's Christmas! Everyone's coming!"
Dress comfortably. Scratchy holiday sweaters or stiff clothes can cause agitation.
Managing Gatherings
Arrival:
Greet guests at the door and remind them: "Mom is having a good day, but she may not remember everyone. Please introduce yourself each time and don't correct her if she gets details wrong."
Use name tags for larger gatherings. Make it a theme: "Ugly sweater AND name tag party!"
During the Event:
Limit stimulation. Keep music low, lights soft, and scents mild.
Engage in simple activities: Looking at old photos (with you narrating, not quizzing), listening to familiar music, gentle hand massage, or folding napkins (a purposeful, repetitive task).
Watch for signs of overload: Increased pacing, repetitive questions, withdrawal, or agitation. When you see these, it's time to retreat to the quiet zone.
Validate emotions, don't correct. If your loved one says, "I need to go home" (while at home), respond with: "You're safe here with me. Let's have some tea." Don't argue about reality.
Food Time:
Serve small portions on uncluttered plates. Too many choices can cause "decision paralysis."
Sit with your loved one and model eating if they seem unsure.
Don't pressure. If they don't want to eat, offer something later.
Managing Common Challenges
Challenge Response Strategy Repetitive questions ("When is dinner?") Answer calmly each time or use a visual timer/clock. Accusations ("You stole my purse!") Don't defend yourself. Say, "Let's look for it together." Wanting to "go home" Validate the feeling: "You're missing home. Tell me about your favorite room there." Sundowning (increased confusion in late afternoon/evening) Schedule events earlier in the day; use bright lighting as the day darkens. Refusal to participate Respect it. Offer to sit quietly together instead.
After the Holidays: Recovery and Reflection
Allow for a "Reset" Period
Expect 2-3 days of disruption even after a "successful" holiday. Your loved one may be more confused, tired, or irritable.
Return to routine immediately. Consistency is the fastest way to restabilize.
Rest yourself. Caregiver burnout peaks after high-stress periods.
Debrief with Family
What worked? Note successful strategies for next year.
What didn't? Identify stressors to avoid or modify.
Who needs more education? Some family members may need help understanding dementia. Share resources from the Alzheimer's Association or DailyCaring.com.
Seek Professional Support
Greenville Support Groups & Counseling:
Alzheimer's Association Caregiver Support Groups: Multiple groups meet monthly in Greenville. Call 800-272-3900 for schedules.
Family Caregiver Alliance: National hotline (800-445-8106) for emotional support and resource navigation.
Connections to Care: Our Aging Life Care Managers provide ongoing support, helping you plan for future holidays and coordinate care year-round.
Prisma Health Behavioral Health: Offers counseling for caregiver stress and family dynamics.
Plan Ahead for Next Year
Start a "holiday journal." Document what worked, what didn't, and your loved one's abilities at this point in time. Dementia progresses, and next year will likely require different strategies.
Consider alternatives. Could you celebrate on a different day when venues are quieter? Could you rotate hosting to reduce your burden?
Permission to Do It Differently
In her groundbreaking book Elderhood, geriatrician Louise Aronson writes: "We need to stop asking how we keep older people doing what they've always done and start asking how we help them do what matters most now."
The holidays with dementia are not about replicating the past. They're about honoring the person in front of you today—even if that person can only engage for 10 minutes, or only responds to a hand squeeze, or finds joy in the simplest sensory experience.
You are not failing if you:
Skip events
Order takeout instead of cooking
Say no to hosting
Ask for help
Feel sad, angry, or relieved when it's over
You are succeeding by showing up, adapting, and prioritizing connection over perfection.
Your Greenville Holiday Support Network
Building a support network before you're in crisis is essential. Here are local resources to connect with now:
Medical & Respite Care:
Prisma Health Geriatrics | (864) 522-5900
Thrive Upstate (Adult Day Services) | (864) 467-3462
The Woodlands at Furman (Respite Care) | (864) 283-2165
Education & Support:
Alzheimer's Association SC Chapter | 800-272-3900
Area Agency on Aging (Greenville County) | (864) 467-3200
NAMI Greenville (for mental health support) | (864) 233-1621
Financial & Legal Planning:
ElderLaw of South Carolina | (864) 626-5477
SC Access (Benefits Counseling) | 1-888-728-4435
Final Thought: The Gift of Presence
The holidays will not look like they used to. That doesn't mean they can't be meaningful.
Your loved one may not remember the gathering. But they will feel your calm presence. They will feel safe. They will feel loved.
And in the world of dementia, that's everything.
Need help creating a personalized holiday plan or coordinating care for your loved one? Connections to Care is here to help. Contact us today to speak with an Aging Life Care Manager who can support your family through the holidays and beyond.
This article was prepared using evidence-based approaches from leading dementia care experts including Teepa Snow's Positive Approach to Care and guidance from the Alzheimer's Association. Local resources were verified as of November 2025.
